in today's sociology class, we had to violate a norm on campus.
our group's violation was to go around asking for hugs.
the girls' reactions were rather blah.
guys, however.
typically, they pretended to go along. one guy asked "what's your name again?" "oh yeah, right..."
one guy i hi-fived before hugging, and he turned red. carried a what's new conversation.

during all this, one guy's leaning against the telephone watching.
i give up on alternatives and ask him for a hug.

"you ask for hug? i BEEG for hug."

he asked where he knew me from.
i went for the less obvious reaction, and couldn't believe he didn't remember me.
he pinned me against a wall and chucked me under then chin.

"c'mon. how do i know you?"

blew him off, saying it must not have been important for him to remember. i guess that's how it's going to be.
i walked off across the campus in my best pissed-off i could manage
he got a couple of his buddies and followed, talking and pointing.
i walk faster, and change directions.
he catches up, which i find out by his hand around my neck

"c'mon babe."

i throw his hand off.
this time he really gets to see pissed-off chick attitude.
i gave an arm gesture, a talk-to-the-hand meets this-conversation-is-over

"you know what, that's it. forget it."

i catch a glimpse of a group member in open-jawed entertainment, watching me.
we caught up and whispered as we walked back to class, looking behind us
this ghetto wannabe guy followed us with his friends.
we walked as fast as we could without running, trying to get to the classroom in time.
i passed up a friend, who later told me off for not saying hi, then asked what was with the creepy dude following me.
leaving the classroom 5 minutes later, eric went out first and gave me the thumbs-up
teacher said to come to authorities if i ever see him again.
if i get a stalker.
this has happened before on this project.
 

"Vote NO, for Issue 6." I heard for the umpteenth time as I drove home from work, realizing that the interstate can and does go 35 mph.

Vote no. Because it's occasioned by one man, for his personal profit. Because no one with any acclaimed sense has condoned it. Because it does our state no good, but much harm. Because we don't want to let this 'infringement of our country's rights into our Constitution'. Where... our Constitution is a joke already, but... still.

It seems reasonable to ask why this issue was ever proposed.

The issue was proposed to give us a sense of control.
A sense that we have a say.
An image where we know our votes will show our decision...
We know we'll win.
We know, because we've done exactly what every commercial and infomercial has told us to do.
We voted "No."
Not that there's anything wrong with that...

Our only mistake is in believing we're making our own choice, when it's long since been made for us.

Ode to the Nice Guys

This rant was written for the Wharton Undergraduate Journal

           This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and bitching about what assholes guys are, while disproving the very point. This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores. This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support. This is in honor of the guys with open minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern. This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl’s every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style.

           This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they’re at her door, for the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but give them out anyway, for the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters, for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don’t end up being boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned, this is for you.

           This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. And even though you thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was all ok and she shouldn’t worry about it. This is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you’d ever orchestrated in GTA3 to rant about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against the guy, you paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around the floor. This is also for that time she didn’t have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing “serious” between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: “oh, but we’re just friends!” And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went anyways. Because you’re nice like that.

           The nice guys don’t often get credit where credit is due. And perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys don’t seem to get laid as often as they should. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can’t. From what I have observed on campus and what I have learned from talking to friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is that many girls are just illogical, manipulative bitches. Many of them claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as “oh, he’s too nice to date” or “he would be a good boyfriend but he’s not for me” or “he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn’t possibly ask him out!” or the most frustrating of all: “no, it would ruin our friendship.” Yet, they continue to lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize and apologize for the men that are jerks. Sorry, guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I can’t figure out why the connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice guy!) and what they do (I’m going to sleep with this complete ass now!). But one thing I can do, is say that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn’t last forever. There are definitely many girls who grow out of that train of thought and realize they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted. The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones that are single.

           So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know you’re sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile. For all the crazy, inane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming.
Fu-zu Jen, SEAS/WH, 2003

http://www.stwing.upenn.edu/~jenf/writing/rant04.html

10 things you wish you could say to ten different people right now:

09 things about yourself:

08 ways to win your heart:

07 things that cross your mind a lot:

06 things you do before you fall asleep:

05 people who mean a lot:

04 things you're wearing right now:

03 songs that you listen to often (currently):

02 things you want to do before you die:

01 confession:

yesterday was my "last day" at work, and lori finally got around to setting me up with matt. who... drove all the way out from cleveland so his mom could tell me he needs my number. asked me when we could go out. wanted to know if he got a hug goodbye.

he didn't.

lori's glad it all worked out.

Saddam Hussein wrote a poem. It's written in this lofty, noble sense and trails off with his regards to battered women and the wreckage of his country. His bio on Wikipedia doesn't make much of what a brute he was, until halfway through, where in a little blip he asked his advisers for candid advice, and "pieces of Ibrahim’s dismembered body were delivered to his wife the next day."

Apparrantly Saddam had the original idea to cut back on oil production, in order to raise gas prices by supply and demand, in order to raise money for "post-war reconstruction." So is America following that same general idea, or are we still blaming Bush and his ulterior motives for everything?